Victoria’s Secret: A Plastic Surgeon’s Nightmare

January 18, 2010 by Lila Delilah

Once in a rare while a very mainstream item becomes a cult sensation. In this instance, women who normally wear the finest undergarments– La Perla, Eres, Guia la Bruna and Marlies Dekkers– have been opting for Victoria Secret’s Miraculous Bra ($48 to $52).

This bra doesn’t only promise a big rack but will enhance your female assets — the top, not the bottom– two full sizes and add maximum cleavage. That is a serious promise. Online, a 34A in every color and pattern is back ordered until April. There was no way we weren’t going to check out this thing.

To better research this uplifting sensation, we took five ladies and hit Victoria’s Secret. Oh yeah, the Miraculous bra is a Miracle on steroids. At first glance the undergarment looks like any other seamless bra. It’s not until you pick it up for closer examination that you realize the cups are more padded than a private room at Bellevue.

After browsing, each woman took their respective bra back to the fitting room and within moments the ladies were squealing like school girls meeting the Jonas Brothers. “Oh. My. God,” “This is amazing,” and “I don’t know if I can go out looking like this,” were only some of the initial reactions.

Here’s a closer look of what our bra testers had to say. Sorry, there’s no pictures.

Wendy Whoppers: “This is how I looked when I first got married,” Wendy cooed after looking down at her reestablished cleavage. After four children, Wendy admits that she has considered seeking the assistance of a plastic surgeon and is very excited about the extra boost. Ultimately, our doubly blessed friend decided that her husband may not appreciate his wife sharing such similarities with Pamela Anderson.
Verdict: She passed on the bra today but we have a feeling she will be back.

Anita Blond: “I can’t believe I have something. I’ve never had anything. I even have cleavage,” said Anita, who has never required much support. Anita doesn’t think that the Miraculous is an every-day accessory but admits that some dresses look better when they are filled in the right places.
Verdict: She didn’t buy the bra on the spot because she didn’t have her $10 off coupon. She will also be back!

Boopsie Steel: “I’m getting this,” Boopsie declared without hesitation. I can wear this with tank tops, sequined blouses, dresses. “I don’t think I’m ever not wearing this,” she said.
Verdict: Do you need to ask? We are surprised she didn’t buy more than one.

Sandy Wilde: “Oh, my gosh. I look like a Barbie,” Sandy giggled. Afraid that her sweaters would stretch out, Sandy said she would stick to wearing her prosthetic chest on Saturday date nights.
Verdict: There were only two bras left in her size so she decide to take it to “be on the safe side.”

The conclusion of this little experiment is as plain as the mounds on these women’s chests. Dr. 90210 better be careful because this Miraculous bra adds a quite a bit of oomph to the bosom and without any recovery time.


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